Unless you are compromising your values or morals, take the high road. Be kind. Be understanding.
Our brains have this funny habit of finding similarities in our environment and putting them into categories. So, when we experience any type of moment, if it resembles any previous memory, we think it follows the same rules and guidelines. We’ll think that its the same, even if we don’t consciously admit that. It’s the same with people, we decide they are a certain way even if they have changed. Change happens when time passes. Some people might have a similar personality but that doesn’t always necessarily mean that they are the same. Experience changes us all, and, in you’re 20s, you change so rapidly as you figure things out.
I am back in Wisconsin, visiting friends I haven’t seen in 2-4 years. I sort of thought that even though we were physically apart, we spoke on the phone but it’s definitely not the same. It’s so interesting that I have these ideas that these people were all the exact same as the years before. I am learning so many new things about these people and it feels like i’m making new friends.
So, my advice is, keep an open mind about others. Listen to what they have to say. Sometimes people change and sometimes that person is worth getting to know. I’m not saying that as a general rule, people change. I’m saying that it happens and sometimes our brains can get the best of us and make us biased.
Keep and open mind and juste love.
Anonymous asked: hi, this girl that i used to be friends with is sabotaging my relationship with my guy friend that she introduced me to. it gets me really upset and i really miss hanging out with him and it's completely unfair that she's being like this and just so easily take him away from me and my other friends just like that. WHY is she being SUCH a jerk? Please help :(
Most of the time when girls do stuff like that it is because they’re jealous or insecure. It’s the worst explanation because there isn’t very much you can do to change her mind. You should talk to both of them and explain how you feel. It might not change the situation but at least then you will know you tried to talk to them. If they don’t try to understand or if they don’t seem to care then you will find out who really is a friend. I know that is a scary thought, but it is better to find out who really has your back. Or that is my opinion anyway!
I hope this helps! Let me know how it turns out!
I sometimes wonder if i’m saying this a lot or if I’m thinking it, but in case I haven’t said it enough, people will fall short sometimes of your expectations. Everyone has their own set of morals, values, beliefs and were all raised differently.
Lately, I feel like there are so many times where I feel so hurt and let down by some of the people closest to me. I used to think that if you were an honest person and if you were always trying to be kind that people would generally not disappoint you. I realize as I get older that it’s a lot more complicated than that. You can only control the person you are. You can only change yourself.
I still believe though that people aren’t intentionally “bad” people. I think people do things out of their own self interest and we’re all just trying to get by with what we have and what we feel. So what i’m saying is, you can only change who you are, so be the best damned person you can be. Accept that you will fall short sometimes and when you do, try harder to be better. It is worth it. Being a good person is worth it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Accept the people that fall short and forgive them. Love them. You don’t know what is going on with them and you don’t know what they’re feeling.
Being close with another person is scary and it’s hard and there are no guide books. You just have to do the best you can and keep moving forward. And be the best version of yourself.
I went to the bar last night with my sister and was in the best mood. Every time I liked a song that came on, I started dancing. I do not dance well, or so I’ve been told. BUT it was so much fun and I realized I had more fun the less I cared about that.
I see it all the time, I’ve done it too. I’d see someone being like crazy happy or dancing or singing out of place and I almost cringe over how awkward I thought it was. More recently I’ve tried to change that. I went to see my friends play a show the other day and I saw this group of girls in the back and they were just letting loose and having what looked like the best time. Other girls were laughing at them or making faces. We all enjoy things how we enjoy them but I think we get so concerned with the judgement of others that we’ll lower how happy we are because we’re afraid to look stupid.
So my advice, which I have been giving to myself is, stop caring about what others think. You live this life where you get to choose who you are and how much fun you have. If you’re happy and want to dance, do it. If you’re sad and you need to cry, do it. The people judging you most likely don’t know you and if they do, you can find better people to surround yourself with.
Juste feel whatever it is you have to feel.
Because otherwise you’re wasting precious time getting to know and love yourself.
How do you “be yourself”? Not so easy, since most of us don’t know ourselves.
About 4 years ago I met my best friend Breona and she was trying to figure herself out. I asked her about this since I had never even given it any thought at all. I never thought about who I was, what I was doing or really considered the life I was living. She suggested I start small and write down basic facts about myself. That eventually grew to me writing down my thoughts, my likes and dislikes. And that obviously changes as you grow up and learn and experience new things. So you write. I think it’s one of the simplest things to tell someone to do but it’s one of the greatest things to be able to look and think about your writing. I will even go back in this blog and read about what I was writing about and realize I grew and some of my opinions changed.
I think it’s so important to think about yourself and figure out who you are. It helps you understand yourself and your actions. And yeah, you’ll change and you might decide you don’t like how you’re acting and then you can take steps to change that.
So, My advice? Try it and go with it.
There is literally nothing harder than figuring yourself out, at least for most people. It’s scary but the most rewarding. Don’t worry about what everyone else wants or thinks because you will probably find yourself disappointed down the line. You’re only ever going to be you deep down and there’s nothing better than the moment you accept that. Accept it and love it. Do you.
In any real relationship, you are bound to disagree, argue, and or fight. I was talking about friendships yesterday and that they are work. No one is exactly like you, thinks exactly the way that you do and agrees with every thought you have. And I think when we get into fights with the people we love or we disagree with them, we can forget the things we love about them. We are capable of being so consumed by our current situation that we can’t see outside of it.
So my advice to myself and anyone reading, try and remember the good before letting the bad feelings consume you.