hoes over bros.
I got into this dark place over the weekend. Missing the things I didn’t have and then I remembered that I have one hell of a life. People will disappoint you, but, there will always be someone or a couple someones who will prove time and time again how wonderful they are. For every crappy situation, hurtful person and bad day, there will be good people, random acts of kindness and good day. Focus on that.
Live in peace.
Don’t expect anything. Hope for the best, but understand the worst happens.
Sometimes I get into this mindset that i’m so old and that I have everything figured out. Then, like most people, I am reminded that I don’t.
Being in my twenties has taught me two very different things, I’m old enough to know a lot about myself but i’m young enough that I still have a lot to learn. I constantly have been trying to define what I want in my life and where i’m going.
More recently, I went through a breakup. I was trying to change someone into what I wanted him to be. I wasn’t even doing it consciously the entire time but then I started to think that what I wanted out of a relationship was asking for “too much”. I was in a relationship where I wasn’t emotionally satisfied, but I thought I was never going to get what I wanted.
Then, someone from my past came back into my life and that someone had had such a huge impact on the way I saw relationships when I was younger. I started to project that past relationship on that person thinking that not only was I wrong in thinking I was asking for too much, but that I was just supposed to be with that person. End of story, that didn’t work out either.
My point is that you can’t change people and you also can’t change what you want for another person. As you get older, you figure out what makes you happy and you have to follow that, even if it seems far-fetched. I am a person who believes in an intense passion and being fiercely loyal. I believe that love isn’t a choice, love is a feeling and that we can’t just feel that with anyone. I believe in a love that is stronger than logic and reason. I believe in a love that is balanced in its’ intensity. I believe that in all of my relationships and I believe it’s rare and beautiful. I also get discouraged sometimes when things don’t work out the way I want them; when people are disappointing. However, I have to keep telling myself that it’s out there and that I’ll find it. I suggest that everyone does that as well.
You should never try to change a person or seek change in them. You will never be satisfied. Figure out what makes you happy and believe that it’s out there, because there are so many people out there who may fit into that ideal. Never think you’re asking for too much. Never accept less than what you want.
be happy & juste love.
Unless you are compromising your values or morals, take the high road. Be kind. Be understanding.
Our brains have this funny habit of finding similarities in our environment and putting them into categories. So, when we experience any type of moment, if it resembles any previous memory, we think it follows the same rules and guidelines. We’ll think that its the same, even if we don’t consciously admit that. It’s the same with people, we decide they are a certain way even if they have changed. Change happens when time passes. Some people might have a similar personality but that doesn’t always necessarily mean that they are the same. Experience changes us all, and, in you’re 20s, you change so rapidly as you figure things out.
I am back in Wisconsin, visiting friends I haven’t seen in 2-4 years. I sort of thought that even though we were physically apart, we spoke on the phone but it’s definitely not the same. It’s so interesting that I have these ideas that these people were all the exact same as the years before. I am learning so many new things about these people and it feels like i’m making new friends.
So, my advice is, keep an open mind about others. Listen to what they have to say. Sometimes people change and sometimes that person is worth getting to know. I’m not saying that as a general rule, people change. I’m saying that it happens and sometimes our brains can get the best of us and make us biased.
Keep and open mind and juste love.